


Welcome To Hell

by im_the_king_of_the_ocean (RebelliousWhirlpool)



Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, I kinda wanted to try writing one, No Plot/Plotless, also drunk texting in the 3rd chapter, and this is what happened, groupchat fic, rated for some cussing and sort of mentions of sex, so be aware of that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-05-03 15:44:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14572260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelliousWhirlpool/pseuds/im_the_king_of_the_ocean
Summary: a hour in the GroupChat of the adults of Arcadia Oaks.(Now includes Vex, Zarda, and Stuart of 3Below - see ch. 4)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently I woke up at 4-5am last night, turned on my computer, wrote this, and then went back to sleep. I've debated whether or not to share it, but I do find it kinda funny so I decided I would.
> 
> I don't have any plans to continue it

**Blinks Galadriel:** …and that DICKtatious is why I will not change your “username” back.You are not deserving of anything better.This is what you get for being the rotten fruit of the family tree!11!!1! (6/6)

“ **Dicky”:** au contraire, brother!It is you who

“Dicky” is typing…

 **LadyoftheLake:** Walt would you please change your name to something else?  It’s making me uncomfortable

 **Stricklander (is a motherfucker):** My dear, I’m afraid I can’t.Nomura locked me out of the settings.

 **Stricklander (is a motherfucker):** and I’m afraid that there is some merit

Stricklander (is a motherfucker) is typing…

 **LadyoftheLake:** I swear to god I will end you

 **LadyoftheLake:** Do NOT finish that thought

 **Nomura:** u fucked him didn’t u? lol

 **LadyoftheLake:** No. No, I did not.

“ **Dicky”:** is the rotten one! Present evidence sug

 **“Dicky”:** suggests you do not even know how to can

 **“Dicky”:** changfheeeeeeeeeeeee

  **“Dicky”:** change it back111!

  **Blinks Galadriel:** No.

Strickerlander (is a motherfucker) changed name to Stricklander (is a monsterfucker)

 **Nomura:** @LadyoftheLake there I changed it for you

 **Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** I hardly see how this is any better.

 **Nomura** : you did raise angor rot from an eternal slumber

 **Nomura:** to defeat a child

 **Nomura:** that I EASILY defeated so

 **Nomura:** you must have had other reasons ;)

 **LadyoftheLake:** he did WHAT

 **LadyoftheLake:** who is angor rot? why do I have the feeling that that has something to do with Jim

 **Blinks Galadriel:** Angor Rot is an ancient troll assassin Strickler woke up and brought to Arcadia

Blinks Galadriel is typing…

 **Blinks Galadriel:** to how shall I put this aw yes kill Jim.But in the end your son did triumph and angor rot was defeated.Turned to stone and smashed.

Blinks Galadriel is typing…

 **Blinks Galadriel:** But not before we lost Arrrrgh!!! briefly and um

 **ARRRGH!!!aumont:** Was stone.Wasn’t fun.

 **LadyoftheLake:** finish that thought, Blinky

 **Blinks Galadriel:** @Stricklander (is a monsterfucker)

Nomura added theREAL(not)Enrique to the group

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** u were right scary lady shit’s about to get good

 **LadyoftheLake:** Walt.

 **Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** well you see I didn’t have many options and I you see I have to look out for my best interests so

 **Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** I had Angor create an enchantment that bound our lives together.Whatever happened to me happened to you.

 **LadyoftheLake:** YOU WHAT

 **Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** It was entirely so your son wouldn’t kill me.I fully intended on breaking it

 **Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** But Angor attacked before I could and

Stricklander (is a monsterfucker) is typing…

 **LadyoftheLake:** Just how when WHAT

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** oh she’s gonna get u boss man better move out of state again

 **Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** Barbara, please understand it was never meant to go as far as it did.I was confident Jim would never harm me if he knew you would be hurt too.The enchantment was insurance, no more.

 **LadyoftheLake:** Just.Tell me what happened.NOW.

 **Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** The Inferna Copula, the ring that controlled Angor was stolen from me and broken, by Jim.Angor attacked.I was injured and so you were as well.but we got to Trollmarket and were able to break the enchantment and save your life.

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** yeah but according to me sis, it was them that did that.You and by you I mean boss man refused to help break the enchantment unless the TH gave you his word that you wouldn’t be harmed

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** and then they had to go to that school of theirs to retrieve the antidote anyway

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** cause boss man left it in his office

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** and that’s what gave angor the chance to get a horngazel

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** which allowed him to attack a second time

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** which is when the big guy got turned to stone

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** so yeah really you should go after him, doc lady

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** just give me a call first

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** something like that has to be recorded and shared on the Internet.I have a following to entertain

 **Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** NOT.HELPING.

LadyoftheLake has left the group


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I just thought of this earlier today and then wrote it.
> 
> But now, now I'm really done. Probably.

6:55 AM

_22 Missed Messages_

**Walt:** Barbara, please forgive me.

**Walt:** I learned so much from you.You taught me what love is.After hundreds of years of being completely alone, you showed me what it is to have someone.

**Walt:** Our relationship, yes, began under unfortunate circumstances and my actions were, in some ways, regrettable.

**Walt:** But I do not regret the closeness we achieved or the intimacy.I believe the bond we shared because of the binding spell gave me a better understanding of human nature and now I am fully capable of love, if you were to only give me a second chance.

**Walt:** Forgive me.I will do better in the future.

**Walt:** You will find I am a significantly changed person.

**Walt:** Not completely of course ;) I will still be the same person you fell in love with.

**Walt:** However, I have found after some time of personal reflection I have changed.Improved for the better, as it were.

**Walt:** Barbara, are you there?

**Walt:** Please answer, my dear

5:02 PM

**Barbara:** I recently suffered significant memory loss and got a new phone, who’s this?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana and Dictatious accidentally get everyone drunk on glug
> 
> also Nomura > PotteryIShistoricallyaccurate

**Mr.MeowMeowPI:** hello dearies is this the group chat

**PotteryIShistoricallyrelevant:** yes and you are?

**Mr.MeowMeowPI:** you can call me mrs Domzalski or nana everyone does and I’m afraid I might need some help

**PotteryIShistoricallyrelevant:** with what exactly?

**Mr.MeowMeowPI:** well you see I invited Barbara and the others over for dinner bc we really all should get together more often and I may have forgotten to pick up more ginger ale bc Mr. Dicky ate all of my cans

**“Dicky”:** I have told you repeatedly my name is DICTATIOUS

**Mr.MeowMeowPI:** that’s not what my computer screen says.Anyway I was out of ginger ale but I still had to give them something bc it wouldn’t be polite to have them over but not serve them drinks it just wouldn’t be proper.So I saw Mr Dicky had a stash of what looked like that horrible green soda the kids are all drinking these days and since he ate all my ginger ale I thought it would be a good idea to serve them that instead

**“Dicky”:** first of all, I left you THREE cans of ginger ale left, which is more than plenty for this specific group of fleshbags.I am not uncivilized.Unlike YOU who gave my entire glug stash to them.

**Mr.MeowMeowPI:** well this never would have happened if you were the slightest bit more considerate and yes I will spray you with the spritzer if you continue using that sort of language in my house young man.

**“Dicky”:** I am CENTURIES older than you

**PotteryIShistoricallyrelevant:** what I’m gathering here is the two of you got the trollhunter and his girlfriend’s parents drunk on troll booze.I’m not dealing with this. _@Stricklander (is a monsterfucker)_ ur still in Arcadia go deal with this.

**Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** voicerecording01.mp3

_take me home_

_Country roads_

_To the place I belooooong_

_West Virginia!_

_Alexaaaaaandria!_

  **Mr.MeowMeowPI:** oopsie me I forgot to mention that Mr. Strickler is over since he really is quite the gentleman too, well at least until he has a little too much to drink then no he has absolutely no manners though he is quite a good singer

 **LadyoftheLake:** all of you should be ashamed of yourselves for not taking better care of your femurs, you know you really should bc calcium, calcium is good, caaalcium has it occurred to anyone else thajksefh watttttty we name things is incre increeee dibly dible gible awwwwd aaaahhhhddd oooowwyyyyyydddd like woooorrredsssfhjsg are aaaa weeriiiiidd hghsjf

 **LadyoftheLake:** hgjafohgofsjhldshbdsjljhgdsfjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

 **LadyoftheLake:** I caaannfbdgflshgshgsghflshgslghfslghfsjgjhfgggggg

 **Blinks Galadriel:** I’m afraid this explains a lot.Mrs Domzalski, brother, have you tried taking their phones away?Barbara has been texting Jim “medical advice” for the past hour and I’m afraid he’s grown quite perturbed.

 **“Dicky”:** so very like you to assume we haven’t tried that, Blinkous.THIS is what happened when we tried

_1 jpeg attached_

**PotteryIShistoricallyrelevant:** *snorts* and Stricklander calls me a ridiculous drunk.Got any more pics?

 **theREAL(not)Enrique:** yeah but it’s gonna cost ya.Ten argyle socks for boss man defending their “fort”.Thirty for him dancing on the table singing karaoke earlier.Comedy like that don’t come easy.Or cheap.

 **PotteryIShistoricallyrelevant:** fine pm me details

 **VoteNunez2K18:** we hid in our fort bc SOME PEOPLE just don’t understand that if you away phones you voices and cannot silence! We silence! As long as there is lungs we the truth!THE TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuu

 **LadyoftheLake:** PHALANGES

 **Mr.MeowMeowPI:** I feel just horrible for doing this to them even though its all Mr. Dicky’s fault.Do any of you have suggestions?

 **Blinks Galadriel:** I believe one of their contacts is a detective, perhaps you could call him for assistance?

 **Mr.MeowMeowPI:** um

 **“Dicky”:** your “detective” is currently hiding under the table hugging a pillow he has claimed for himself, brother.Since he is the only one not waging war on us from a fort made of the couch we decided to ignore him.

 **Mr.MeowMeowPI:** oh wait everyone everyone they all fell asleep and they’re just so cute too, Mr. Dicky send them a picture

 **“Dicky”:** futureblackmailmaterial.jpeg

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some new faces join the group
> 
> Also the ending is a reference to a Morgana story I'm putting together

VarvatosVexWillDestroyYOU, LtZadra, and, StuarttheElectronicsWizard have joined the group chat

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** Ello all!Stuart here, how’s everyone doing today!

**theREAL(not)Enrique:** Oy this is a closed chat, who’re u?

**Mr.MeowMeowPI:** Oh I invited them dearie.Varvatos just moved here and I want him to make new friends and all of you are so wonderful. 

**“Dicky”:** speak for yourself 

**VarvatosVexWillDestroyYOU:** Varvatos finds you prior messages about this “glug” quite humorous.Varvatos wonders where he might find some for himself. 

**LadyoftheLake:** we don’t talk about that

**LtZadra:** Varvatos please, we are guests here.At least try to be cordial.

**LadyoftheLake:** It’s alright.It’s funny.

**LadyoftheLake:** After the fact. 

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** I can’t believe trolls exist and I never knew

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** I thought I was the only weird one round these parts

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** I mean I’ve lived here for years

**LadyoftheLake:** Stuart, u wouldn’t happen to be Stuart who runs the electronics store?

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** yup that’s me, friendly neighborhood Stuart the electronics guy, also run the taco truck too

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** May I ask who’s asking?

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** Tho I already know

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** Nimue ;)

**LadyoftheLake:** it’s Barbara lake, I live across the street from Nana?

**LadyoftheLake:** Nimue???

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** ah yes I know you!How’ve you been?Haven’t seen you around the store in ages!How’s little Jimbo?isn’t so little anymore is he?

**LadyoftheLake:** no, not exactly.He’s a teenager

**LadyoftheLake:** And a troll now

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** wait you don’t say, that blue guy with the horns who was running around while things were all orange and nuts, that was little Jimbo?!

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** wow and I mean WOW

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** You must be so proud

**LtZadra:** explain something to me

**LtZadra:** There was another one of these “trolls”, a green one with wings.

**LtZadra:** He swooped in and stole my quarry from me.I would like to challenge him to combat.I need to know where to find him.

**Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** that would be me

**Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** I’m the only one with wings

**PotteryIShistoricallyrelevant:** way to rub it in our faces WALTOLOMEW

**Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** Nomura please

**Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** You know as well as I that

**Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** YOU OWE ME

**Stricklander (is a monsterfucker):** So CUT IT OUT

**VarvatosVexWillDestroyYOU:** combat and quarrels, Varvatos loves this “group chat” already!May Varvatos defeat his adversaries in righteous combat!

**theREAL(not)Enrique:** whoa there big guy let’s try to keep this PG

**VarvatosVexWillDestroyYOU:** Varvatos does not understand the meaning of this ‘PG’ 

**VarvatosVexWillDestroyYOU:** but Varvatos is meant for destruction and glorious death!!!

**LtZarda:** getting back to the point, I would like to challenge **@Stricklander (is a monsterfucker)** to a training duel.Contact me privately so we can discuss further.

**VarvatosVexWillDestroyYOU:** Varvatos shall bear witness!

LtZarda, Stricklander (is a monsterfucker), and VarvatosVexWillDestroyYOU have left the chat

**LadyoftheLake:** should I be worried about that?  

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** nah, Vexy and Zarda won’t hurt him too badly

**LadyoftheLake:** that’s not what I was worried about

IHaveManyNames entered the group

**IHaveManyNames:** bow before me!

**IHaveManyNames:** Barbara it has been your turn for over 7 minutes 

**IHaveManyNames:** I grow impatient 

**IHaveManyNames:** I feel my victory at the “Scrabble” grows near

**IHaveManyNames:** Yet you keep it from me!

**IHaveManyNames:** Face me!

**LadyoftheLake:** Ana, remember what we discussed about your computer privileges

**LadyoftheLake:** also I’m sitting DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM YOU

**IHaveManyNames:** then face me!

LadyoftheLake and IHaveManyNames have left the chat

**StuarttheElectronicsWizard:** What was that?

**PotteryIShistoricallyrelevant:** It’s a long story

**PotteryIShistoricallyrelevant:** A really long story 


End file.
